Apple’s TV ads have been fairly tame and trite of late, as we’ve seen the Cupertino company rely more and more on meaningless celebrity plugs in lieu of the simplistic, anonymous user hodgepodge that’s been the iThing’s bread and butter these last few years.
Unfortunately, tasteful elegance — or rather, the loss of it — can be a slippery slope, and Apple’s latest spots are snowballing out of control.
The ads — first aired during the just-started Summer Olympics — seek to highlight the efficient, enthusiastic help of the famed Apple Store Genius. Instead, they’re just plain stupid.
So without further ado, I present Apple’s new commercials, in order of awful. Drumroll Rimshot please…
Ummlabs LLC announced today the release of a digit ratio analysis tool for the Apple Store, available for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch. Digit ratio is a relatively new area of scientific research which correlates the ratio of a persons finger lengths with characteristics of their personality or physical makeup. The research suggests that the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen introduced in early fetal development can affect a wide array of personality traits, and the hormone levels also directly affect the length of the index and ring fingers. The more estrogen exposure, the longer the index finger (2D) is. The more testosterone exposure, the longer the ring finger (4D) is.
Trait Test, created by Ummlabs LLC, provides an easier way to measure your fingers, calculate the results, and apply those results to dozens of aspects of a persons personality or physiological makeup. A user can take the test and find out if they have increased or decreased odds of being gay, athletic, well-endowed, musical, and more.
J.J. Jenkinson, V.P. of sales and marketing for Ummlabs, LLC states: “The app store is flooded with personality tests and scanners. These are all gimmicks, generating physical/personality profiles randomly. Trait Test is the first app in the app store which can truly tell you about yourself using science.”
Trait Test is available for free in the iTunes app store. For more information, and a download link, please visit http://www.ummlabs.com